Reflections of my son's Four years at St. Lawrence Seminary High School

We were all nervous the day we loaded the car and trekked through the early dawn hours to Mt.Calvary, a tiny town with windmills in the distance, lush farmland, and the cleanest air we had inhaled in a long time.

The glimpse of the 'castle on the hill' as my son puts it, was breathtaking and a powerful statement of the faith-filled education to come. The first step on the meticulous campus and we knew this would be no ordinary experience.

Unloading Erin's things into his sparse dorm, my mind began working overtime:
how would he survive?
would he fit in?
would he find enough to eat with his Celiac Disease?
who he would talk to when there was a problem?
and most of all, would he miss us?

Accordingly, Erin had many of the same fears and spent a few nights weeping into his pillow--missing the comforts and familiarity of home and our traditions.  We were also without dry eyes for more nights than I care to count, yet deep inside, we knew this was right.

Each step along his journey, we watched him grow from a shy, insecure boy, to one of growing confidence, unshakable faith, and courageous leadership. Despite his ability to shine in his academics, music, student government, theatre and sports, he remained a humble young man, with the time and compassion to look out for others, and put them before himself.

I love this school.
While Erin is the last of my five, there are days I wish I had five more sons to send to SLS because the school is just that good.

His moral foundation, under the guidance of Fr. Dennis Druggan OFM CAP, Fr. Gary Wegner OFM CAP  and Fr. John Holly OFM CAP taught him to live the Gospel through his actions and to truly become Franciscan in heart and soul. His teachers, Mr. Gritt, Mr. Ahlstrom, and so many amazing others imbued confidence in his ability to achieve things he never thought possible. His spiritual director, Fr. Ron Smith OFM CAP spoke to Erin's gentle soul through regular meetings and guided him towards a close relationship with Jesus Christ.

On our side, some of the best days of our lives were volunteering for weekend visits, attending the annual Hilltopper Cross Country Meet, musicals, plays, concerts and Sunday Masses. Never have we witnessed such a deep and joyous Mass experience as we did there. If you never send a child to SLS, at least attend the 10:15 Sunday Mass during the school year as you will be rocked to your soul by the united voices of over 200 young men worshipping the Lord. If you don't feel goosebumps running down your spine--I would be surprised!

Working on the Laurentianum with Mary Voell was always fun--writing articles for the quarterly magazine made me feel as if I were also part of the SLS family and it was another way for me to give back a portion of what Erin received.

It is difficult to fathom what path he may have taken if he were tossed into the local public high school. Things may have gone well, but I have serious doubts that he would have exemplified the leadership and faith he has now.

Graduation on Sunday May 19, was the most unique graduation ceremony we have ever attended. His last day ended as every day began in the past four years---with prayer. A beautiful Mass merged into convocation and afterwards, there was no dry eye in sight. Tough boys, who would be embarrassed to shed a tear, wept like babies as they embraced their SLS brothers, as did teachers, faculty, staff and parents. Afterwards, we all lingered as if saying goodbye would change us all.......each wanted another second of the holiness of the Hill of Happiness.

We left as we entered---with tears. But instead of tears of trepidation, they were tears of joy and longing  for reunion.

We continue now, towards the next path--Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ohio where many of the same initial fears will probably ignite, but all will be fine in the end. The foundation is solid and Erin knows he must follow God's guidance for whatever the future may hold.

Thank you to everyone at SLS for helping to form my boy into the man he is today.

All Peace and Good

Sr. Kathleen O'Brien wins Sacagawea Award

Written by Karen Mahoney, Special to your Catholic HeraldThursday, 16 May 2013 13:24

When the leadership of Professional Dimensions searched for two women prominent in the leadership of southeastern Wisconsin for their 31st annual Sacagawea Award, School Sister of St. Francis Kathleen O’Brienreceives the Sacagawea Award on Wednesday, March 13, at the Pfister Hotel, Milwaukee, from Professional Dimensions, a Milwaukee business networking organization. Sr. Kathleen, senior vice president for academic affairs at Alverno College, Milwaukee, and, Tina Chang, chairman and CEO of SysLogic, were honored for their trailblazing efforts as Milwaukee businesswomen. (Submitted photo courtesy Alverno College)School Sister of St. Francis Sr. Kathleen O’Brien, was a clear choice.

The award, named after Sacagawea – the bilingual Shoshone woman who accompanied a Lewis and Clark expedition in 1805-06 from the northern plains through the Rocky Mountains to the Pacific Ocean and back, epitomizes achievements of Milwaukee area women who have made significant career accomplishments and who were trailblazers. Recipients were also chosen for their commitment to community, support for the advancement of women, and embodiment of the trailblazing spirit of Sacagawea.

Helped institute Weekend College

Senior vice president for academic affairs at Alverno College, Sr. Kathleen, has made it her mission to champion the education of women in her 36 years serving at the school. An award-wining and internationally recognized leader in ability-based learning and assessment, she helped institute the Weekend College, one of the first in the country.

In her 50 years as a School Sister of St. Francis, Sr. Kathleen, a 1967 graduate of Alverno College, has published articles and books, and presented at international conferences.

A champion in the development and advocacy of innovative programming, Sr. Kathleen helped found the Alverno College Business School as well as the Research Center for Women and Girls whose “Status of Girls’ report is replicated throughout the country. She often sought as a consultant.

‘Go-to leader’ at Alverno

“It was really a no brainer to see Sr. Kathleen nominated for this award,” said Joann Anton, special assistant to Herb Kohl, and chair of the nominating committee. “She is the go-to leader, was the interim president at Alverno, and served as president of numerous boards and prominent positions that have a focus on young women. She is really leading the charge for women and girls, and found her niche or calling at Alverno.”

Professional Dimensions promotes women      Professional Dimensions is a Milwaukee membership organization formed in 1978 that promotes the professional and personal growth of women through its four tenets: leadership, diversity, community and networking.      With nearly 400 members, Professional Dimensions members are involved not only in the PD Charitable Fund but also in the Race Relations Initiative, which brings together women of all ethnic backgrounds to discuss issues important to the community, promote women’s leadership growth and break down racial barriers.      For more information, visit www.professionaldimensions.org.

A committee of 14 chose the award winners, and most had never met Sr. Kathleen, but after reviewing her accomplishments, could not wait to meet her.

“She is very approachable, and probably one of the sharpest, funniest and accomplished people I know,” said Anton. “She is just so affable and perhaps, because she is a nun, sees the goodness in the world and always seems to look for it. She is a great combination of smart, clever, funny and so empathetic, just a well-rounded human being who knows that her place on this earth is to be a champion for young women. She embodies it professionally and personally.”

From ‘God to Google’ event is covered

During the March 13 awards dinner at the Pfister Hotel, guests were surprised to learn that Sr. Kathleen once mentored this year’s other Sacagawea Award  winner, Tina Chang, chairman and CEO of SysLogic, (an information system consulting firm).

“Here they were standing shoulder to shoulder and one had been mentored by the other,” said Anton. “One of them stated that from God to Google, they had the event covered. That was a funny way to describe having the award categories covered. People felt so good when they left the banquet after seeing their grace and acceptance and how the community embraced them.”

As president of Alverno College, Mary Meehan considers Sr. Kathleen the perfect choice for the Sacagawea Award, a wonderful woman and great model of the School Sisters of St. Francis’ charism.

“She lives in an old white house on our campus with a group of School Sisters. What I first noticed when I came to Alverno is how much fun they all have together, and what an amazing and living example of community life they give to all who know them,” she said. “Kathleen is a born storyteller and has an extremely warm and engaging style. You immediately feel at home in her presence. She has her doctorate in management, but began her academic career studying history and math. She really is a Renaissance woman.”

As a leader, Sr. Kathleen cares about the growth of others, is supportive but can push when it benefits another person, explained Meehan. While she doesn’t take credit for accomplishments, Sr. Kathleen seems to have propensity for taking responsibility for mistakes, even if she had nothing to do with the error.

Lives her faith daily

St. Francis of Assisi once said, “Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words.” Sr. Kathleen seems to exemplify this teaching, and while she lives her faith, she rarely discusses it.

“I can tell you, that when we are asked to offer a prayer on a moment’s notice, hers are incredible,” said Meehan. “I firmly believe that what we pray about is a true mirror into our souls, and what you know from her prayers is that Kathleen is a woman of dedication, joy, and peace.”

In addition to her aforementioned credentials, Sr. Kathleen has taken her commitment to women into the broader community as chair of the Girl Scouts of America board. Meehan is often in the community when a young professional will approach her to let her know that Sr. Kathleen was her mentor.

“These are not always Alverno alumnae who approach me,” said Meehan. “Kathleen is a master teacher and even when not in a classroom, she is teaching. She is passionate about helping all women succeed in life. She is one of the few people I know who lives with women, works with women, and whose entire life is devoted to serving women. There would be much less joy at Alverno without Kathleen.”

A member of Our Lady of Lourdes Parish, Sr. Kathleen said she enjoys being considered a trailblazer in the Sacagawea tradition.

“She was not the formal leader of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, but helped point the way when necessary, assisted with bridging the gap between the Native American tribes they encountered, and generally helped remove obstacles that helped the mission succeed,” she said.

Women have ‘catching up’ to do

Despite her dedication and devotion to helping women succeed in what was once a man’s world, Sr. Kathleen believes there is much room for improvement.

“When we take a more historical view, women were not allowed into colleges and universities until the last 150 years, and often were not admitted to prestigious institutions in the U.S. until the 1970s,” she said. “Now, of course, there are more women than men in most higher education, yet we have a lot of catching up to do.”

Though she is grateful for the award, Sr. Kathleen’s reasons for helping women achieve run deep into her soul, and they often draw her into a deeper relationship with God.

“When you see how students change and grow as a result of their learning, I see the face of God shine through,” she said.

Grandma aims to save lives in memory of grandson

Written by Karen Mahoney, Special to your Catholic HeraldThursday, 16 May 2013 08:30 In 2006, Jean Davidson received the worst news any grandparent can imagine. Her sandy-haired, blue-eyed, 4-year-old grandson, Ryder, drowned in a water-filled ditch. He had been playing with a couple of neighborhood boys, Jean Davidson, 75, granddaughter of the founder of Harley-Davidson, holds a photo of her and her 4-year-old grandson, Ryder, whose drowning death in 2006 led to the creation of the Yell and Tell Program, a curriculum to teach children to take action and warn someone when they see a dangerous situation. (Catholic Herald photo by Allen Fredrickson)one was also 4 and another was 8. Both Ryder and the other 4-year-old fell into the water.

Instead of calling for help, the 8-year-old boy became afraid and ran home. If he would have yelled for help, Ryder’s father could have saved both boys because he was close enough to have heard the call.

“My son was only able to save the other 4-year-old because he did not know that his own son was in the water, too,” said Davidson, granddaughter of the founder of Harley-Davidson and resident of Wauwatosa. “The other boy was just so scared and didn’t know what to do. I have never blamed him, but I wanted to find a way to help others so this wouldn’t happen again.”

Through her research with law enforcement agencies, she was shocked to learn that the circumstances surrounding Ryder’s death were not uncommon – in fact, it happens often. Since she was a former schoolteacher, and had written several books, Davidson knew that God was calling her to make a difference the one way she knew how, through her writing.

Working through her grief, Davidson, 75, spent the next few months developing the Yell and Tell Program, a curriculum to teach children what to do when they see a dangerous situation by taking action and warning someone about what is happening.

“Little kids often run and hide 

Jean Davidson Age: 75 Occupation: Retired school teacher Favorite hobby: Anything outdoors Favorite church hymn: “How Great Thou Art” and ” Surely the Presence of the Lord is in this Place” Favorite song: “Wind Beneath My Wings” Favorite quotation: “Lord make me an instrument of thy peace”

when they get scared because they don’t want to get yelled at by their parents,” said Davidson, who donates all of her time for the program. “Inner city kids are more afraid of getting beaten or called a snitch if they tell on their friends.

But I want them to know that it is OK to yell and tell if they see something dangerous.”

Since its inception in 2007, more than 100 children have been recognized as heroes for yelling and telling and saving the lives of others. Late last year, Davidson was in Lake Geneva at St. Francis de Sales School where she taught the Yell and Tell program geared for kindergarten through fifth-graders, and presented awards to two heroes.

When gunman Wade Page appeared at the Sikh Temple in Oak Creek last August and started shooting, the St. Francis de Sales students, Abhay Singh and his sister, Amanat, ran inside to tell the adults about the situation. While six people died in the shooting, Abhay and Amanat are credited with saving the lives of many more.

“Because of those two little kids, the Oak Creek Police Department wants to teach the program to school children, too,” said Davidson. “Every time I hear that another child told an adult and saved a life, or saved someone from a dangerous situation, it makes me so happy. I know that Ryder is living on in each of these children and through this program.”

Davidson’s Yell and Tell Program is used throughout the United States, and has been translated into Hungarian and Spanish and will be presented in Honduras. Until recently, Davidson has taught the program to schools by herself, but since it has grown in popularity, other volunteers help teach.

“I travel so much and recently realized that I don’t need to be teaching the program; I can teach others how to keep it going,” she said. “I can’t be everywhere and I could die tomorrow, so my new goal is that I don’t have to be out there all the time – others can do this. It is hard to give up though as there is a little part of me that wants to do it – it is so much a part of me and Ryder.”

While the program is offered to all schools, Davidson has found the most enthusiasm from Catholic and other parochial schools where she has direct contact with the principal.

“I usually will work with the principal and train the staff in the program, or I will send my volunteers, who are all retired school teachers, to work with them,” she said.

Despite the loss of her grandson, Davidson was never angry with God for the death of Ryder. In fact, she still considers him her best friend.

“I talk to God all the time,” she said. “I lost my little brother when I was 8 and my mom went into depression. I loved the outdoors and made God my best friend and companion. I would sit on the hillside and talk to him. I have done that my whole life, and with my writings. I used to journal letters to God.”

However, while God wasn’t the target of her anger, she was angry. As an outdoor enthusiast, Davidson is a lifelong swimmer, and has fond memories of swimming with dolphins and sea turtles, and for the water to take her grandson, it felt like the ultimate betrayal.

“It took me a long time to not be angry at the river because I felt like the water double crossed me,” she explained. “I knew that God doesn’t do things like that. He doesn’t kill children. Accidents happen and something good can come out of an accident, and I know that this program has helped a lot of people and it makes me so happy.”

Davidson is a devout Christian and visits various places of worship when she travels.

“I travel so much that I never had time to join a church,” she explained. “But I stay in people’s homes when I travel and go to whatever church they go to. I grew up Congregational, but I feel it is important to practice wherever. I want us all to get along, and the basics are similar, so why argue? We all need to band together and find people who are teaching the principals of kindness, compassion and somehow link all of us together.”

Davidson’s program includes awareness about water, fire, poison, guns and child enticement. She has also written a program on bullying to address the epidemic of children harmed in this manner.

“I wasn’t going to touch on this because there is so much out there, but the Oak Creek Police Department asked that we have one on this subject,” she said. “I am just happy that I can be of help. It makes me feel wonderful and I thank Ryder every time we save a life. I always tell him, ‘Look, there is another little kid’s parents who aren’t going to be so sad.’”

---

Wisconsin author writes book to assist mothers in imitating Mary

Around the Diocese Written by Karen Mahoney, For the Catholic Herald    Thursday, May. 09, 2013 -- 12:00 AM Often sickly as a child, Catholic columnist and author, Marge Fenelon, spent many days lying on the living room sofa looking up at the picture of Mary and baby Jesus on the wall. The print, a copy of Mother Thrice Admirable, was a gift to her mother from Fr. Joseph Kentenich, the founder of the Apostolic Movement of Schoenstatt, when Fenelon was just a year old. Attachment to Mary That was the beginning of my attachment to her,” she explained. “From there, I developed an inexplicable and insatiable drive to get to know more about Mary, which I did through voracious reading and later, getting my certificate in Marian Studies.” That yearning to write her own book about Mary spurred her recently published, Imitating Mary: Ten Marian Virtues for the Modern Mom. In the book, Fenelon, a Milwaukee native, candidly shares her experiences as a mother to encourage others to understand that the motherly vocation can be an extraordinary witness for the Kingdom of God. “At first I couldn’t put my finger on what kind of book to write, or how I would put it together,” she explained. “Within the last two years, and while mulling it over with my Spiritual Director, (the late) Fr. Jonathon Niehaus, I.S.P., I finally was able to nail down the concept and scope of it. “Through our conversations, I realized that the book that was in my heart was a book that didn’t just tell about Mary, but showed her as a real, living person and that could lead others into a genuine, constantly deepening relationship with her.” Focus on Marian virtues In her book, Fenelon chose 10 virtues: patience, trust, obedience, endurance, courage, strength, hope, faith, and joy. She combines each virtue with personal anecdotes along with Mary’s historical background to bring an understanding of her as well as a new appreciation for motherhood. “While it was my idea — with Father Jonathon’s help — to make this a book that would bring Mary to life, it was the publisher’s idea that this book is best addressed to mothers of all ages, and I agree,” she said. “Still, I know that men will gain a great deal from reading the book because I’ve been told so by men who have already reviewed it. In that light, I hope that moms will find a new wisdom and enthusiasm for their mothering and that all who read the book will come to know our Blessed Mother so well that they could actually sit down and have a cup of coffee or tea at the kitchen table with her ‘sitting’ right across from them. She doesn’t say much, but she is a great listener.” About the author The Milwaukee native and member of St. Anthony of Padua Parish has been married to her husband, Mark, for 30 years. They have four children, ages 27, 25, 22, and 17. In preparing and researching this book, Fenelon was unable to draw upon her own relationship with her mother, as she was unable to offer her as positive mothering experience. “I had to build my relationship with Mary from scratch,” she said, adding, “Rather, I should say that She built it from scratch for me. I owe everything to her.” Fenelon has held a membership in the Apostolic Movement of Schoenstatt (a Catholic lay movement of renewal in Christ through Mary) for many years. Despite her lack of maternal support, Fenelon recognizes that the Blessed Mother has been with her throughout all stages of her life and transformed her with each advancing year. “When I was a child and through my teens, I had more of a ‘gimme, gimme’ attitude toward her, always asking her for this or that thing I thought I needed or deserved,” she explained. “As I moved into marriage and early motherhood, I found my attitude to be more like, ‘How in the world did you ever do this or that? How can I ever be like you?’ “As I matured, I crawled out of my selfishness and started worrying about Mary instead of insisting that she worry about me. Was I loving her enough? Was I demonstrating my love for her as best I could? Was I being a ‘little Mary’ for the world around me? Was I doing everything possible to lead others to her? I think that’s pretty much where I’m at now, but believe me, I certainly have my moments of regression.” Looking back, Fenelon admits that writing a book about Mary was a daunting task for her at times. There were days she would become fretful, but realized that the only way she could accomplish this monumental task was to proceed prayerfully and by placing her trust in Mary. “I asked her to write the book for me,” she said. “I began each work session by invoking the Holy Spirit and then asking the Blessed Mother to tell me exactly what she wanted people to know about her. I teasingly tell people that Mary is the author. I merely put my hands to the keyboard.” Imitating Mary: Ten Marian Virtues for the Modern Mom by Marge Fenelon is available throughAmazon.com or Avemariapress.com

We have a winner!

My recent contest to win a copy of Marge Fenelon's new book, Imitating Mary-ten Marian virtues for the modern mom has a winner! Congratulations to Jackie Russo! Your book is in the mail--hope you enjoy it!

Out of the Greenhouse into the Son

Today, I peeked into my mini-greenhouses and noticed that my tomato, pepper and herb seeds are finally sprouting and am waiting until they grow large enough to remove the lids and then let them grow on their own. 

Tending to these tiny shoots made me think of my friend who is suffering deep abandonment and false accusations..his struggle is so very deep

 .....through prayer........I received this message.......

For many weeks, there was a tender shoot, being formed by our Creator into a sturdy plant, able to withstand the wind, rain, and the few insects that came to nibble on its tiny leaves. While there were various weather patterns, the buds were safe inside the greenhouse from ravenous animals or outsiders wishing to destroy this beautiful plant. The gardener  cared for him and the young plant learned to trust.  

Similarly, the walls that surrounded this gentle follower of Christ, allowed his innocence to grow into perhaps a naiveté- life steeped in Holiness and listening to Jesus.

 He was free to grow in rose colored happiness. Those walls were there to shield him from harm of the outside world--and promised to keep him safe, as the Father protects the son. 

One day, the weather changed, it became so angry.........and the young plant was thrust through the gate, the door slammed behind him. He clung to the wall, but the wind was so strong.......

The gentle plant was not meant to be left alone in the treacherous storm. 

Despite his screams, the wind forced his weak body to bash against craggy rocks, perhaps he would drown in the ocean...

After fruitless attempts, the young  plant realized that he was abandoned, left to wither and die. He lay still on the sand for a time, leaves shredded, gasping for breath...........he slept fitfully, nightmares of the storm pummeling from within. He cried for the gardener--where was he? Why was he left to die? 

It began to sink in......he was alone. 

Or so he thought.

There was something warm within, an ember of sorts and it sustained him for a bit

When the gardener finally had the courage to peer over the stone wall, he buried his head in his hands. How, he wondered, did that tiny plant survive? 

What the gardner could not understand was that the tiny plant, grew deep roots as he cared for fancier  and seemingly, more important plants. The leaves  of the frail plant became thick, shiny, and strong, resistant to all infestation.. The little plant hung on, drew its roots into the healthy, warm soil of those who offered respite.......the plant was much stronger than even he knew. He cried with fresh tears and realized that despite the efforts of the gardener, he was alive. 

He sits now, in safety--in the sunshine where the Son continues to strengthen, love and nourish him. He is surprised that despite his abandonment and suffering, he produces bountiful fruit to feed the multitudes. The tiny plant never knew God had such incredible plans for him--how could it be? he wondered. 

That he had to nearly die-- to live?

Just Dance

Transported into lands of fairies, nursery rhymes and princesses, my arms are often wrapped around miniature giggling females, also known as my energetic granddaughters.  Witnessing the reflection of generations past in a smile, frown, or deep within their beautiful eyes transports me to my childhood days, playing with my grandmother.

What I never realized until recently or remember hearing from my grandmother, was the fatigue that accompanies caring for these little ones. My grandmother, "Elvi" must have grown weary at times, from my demands for card games, shopping, or playing at the park; but if she was, she never shared it with me. I remember with great fondness, her effortless sewing and making little doll dresses for me, baking cookies, reading, cutting paper dolls out of catalogues, and letting me stay up way past by bedtime.

Now, that I have been a grandmother for several years, I am blessed to follow some of the examples set by my grandma. When I am babysitting, we play outside, play dolls, sew dolls, go to the park, bake, and very often, we dance.

Today as I was playing with little Amaya, nothing seemed to settle her.
She was tired, yet wouldn't rest.
She wanted to play, yet wanted to sit on my lap.
She wanted to sit alone, yet cried when I was out of sight.
She had to see me, and still she fussed.
So I did what I always do--put some happy music on my phone and we danced.

For hours, we sang and swayed to Raffi, singing "Baby Beluga," "This little light of mine," "Way down south in the Yankity Yank" and other fun songs that my own children grew up singing.
She was happy.
My legs were giving out
I sat down
She cried
I danced
She giggled
That's ok, my legs needed the workout.

Perhaps one day, Alexa, Amaya and Annia will share some of our playtime escapades with their grandchildren; and look into their eyes and see me.