Those of you dear friends and family who have been so faithful and caring to us the past seven years are aware of the results of the devastating accident my husband suffered at a home improvement store. The injury ravaged every aspect of our lives, the lives of our children, grandchildren, family and friends.
We breathe differently.
We live on eggshells of worry and fear every day of our lives. The accident and resulting disability appear to be in control and have evaporated every one of our dreams.
From one moment to the next, we do not know if we will have food to eat, a house to live in or take my husband back for yet another dangerous surgery.
This case has dragged on years longer that it should have and worn on us like a rope stretching back and forth over a jagged cliff. The frayed ends are freely floating while a thread or three carry us, the weight below.
Today, after 3 1/2 years, we had our second depositions in front of an attorney I originally dismissed as heartless. After all, he is representing the company who hurt my husband and at our first deposition, he was quite antagonistic.
However, this morning before we left, I saw this post on Facebook newsfeed and I ingrained it in my mind:
FAST from being disrespectful to anyone
you encounter today.
PRAY that every experience today is an opportunity for you
to exercise respect, grace and charity.
GIVE unconditional love and kindness to someone who
challenges you today.
In this lenten season, that little passage hit home hard. As the words soaked into my soul, I transformed, if, for perhaps a moment.
In that second of lucidity, I saw it. This attorney was only doing his job. He was being paid to be irritating and perhaps, deep within his own soul, he did feel sorry for us. Perhaps he did care. Though I am certain we won't see that aspect of his personality, at least while this case is pending, but if I were in his position, I would do the best job I could too.
At that moment, I prayed for my husband. I prayed for our attorney, for the defense attorney, and vowed to remain respectful and kind and loving despite the enormous challenges.
Throughout the six hour day, God was with me. I kept my cool. I saw him with different eyes, and despite the tears and various difficulties in answering one-sided questions, I was able to pass through that moment with incredible peace.
I am grateful to God and for the Holy Spirit guiding me through this--thanks be to God, this chapter is moving to the next, and hopefully the end of this nightmare is near.
Our dreams now? I don't know, but I would like to be able to inhale deeply, allow the aromas of budding cherry trees to infuse every cell of my body. I guess, you can consider that, a dream.